Starting Over

By: Kristina Heaton

Guys. This week was a big old failure in the kitchen. It’s really hard to tell you that, because this is only the second full week of me being on this quest of becoming a better cook. But, I told myself from the very start of this blog that I was going to be authentic and up front about whatever I was writing about. So, here I am telling you, at the very beginning of this venture, that I’ve already failed. In my eyes at least. The only new recipe I managed this week was one for chocolate cupcakes that I made with my three year old.

These little “failures” happen a lot. I sit down and promise myself that I’ll do better and when I flub up, even if it’s just a little, I throw my hands up and say “nevermind!” I really don’t want to do that anymore. Starting over, wherever I am, is okay. And that what I’m going to start doing.

As a working mom with life going in a million different ways on any given day, life is not always easy. Maybe it’s just me? Sometimes it feels that way, that everyone else has their life together and I’m over here still trying to figure it all out. I guess when it comes down to it, that’s what this year is about, right? Maybe if I get the cooking thing down for my family, other things will fall into place. That’s what I’m telling myself at least.

I also tell myself that I’m not alone in how I feel. I can’t be. There are other women out there that are also struggling with the same things I struggle with. I look at and read these “self-help” books and these women say they have the same struggles I do, but they still seem to have their act together. Much more so than me. So, how do I get to that space where I know that I’m doing okay? I don’t have an answer to that. I wish I did.

Thanks for sticking with me during this journey! I have no idea where it’s headed but I’m loving the ride, even though the stress is pretty high. It’s a completely new kind of stress. A stress of “how am I going to make this business successful?”. Here is the thing – I believe in this. I believe that this bookstore has a place in our community and that people will see it’s value. This is my dream. It’s okay for me to have my own dreams. It’s okay for you to have your own dreams. What is your dream? I want to hear about it! I want you to tell me about it, give me the details. I bet it’s really awesome.

Oh rabbit trails. You’ve got to love them, and I’m the queen of rabbit trails. Bring it back round to what this is supposed to be about, Kristina! You’re inability to cook and how you’re going to change that this year!  I’m not going to give up on this cooking experiment. I’m going to try some breakfast foods this week. I will tell you, none of it looks healthy, but it all looks tasty!

This week is a new week and I will persevere (cue fist pumping the air)!